I FEEL LIKE SHIT

that's a whole lot of time that's passed where I've done nothing, that's cool. Work's had me pinned to the wall. You really get wrung out for all you're worth in retail!

The good news is the Murder Miners soundtrack is now finally, super officially set to be in the game. The bad news is JForce has decided to make their sequel to the game Grifter Miners and lean into gamergate-y people and now most of the team wants out. I'm hoping they don't try to be edgier and go "nooo 8chan come back you're so sexy". Really good news to hear in the middle of feeling like complete absolute 100% Genuine Shit.

In the time between the last update I've been struggling with drugs since the middle of Resurrecting Tyler Rafferty was being made. developed into more of an addiction since then, and I have things kind of under control now. If you're wondering why I've hardly been posting stuff, I haven't been fucking doing anything! Work has me pinned for all I'm worth and for most of the past couple months if I have time at home I'm just cunked out of my mind on something.

I'm planning on picking up Godot again in October and still hoping to get SOMETHING out this year. my old Death Paddle concept will have to wait, I have no idea how to implement like half the shit i would need to and it would not be able to get done in time. I have a seperate point and click thing that should be a bit more feasible to do. Maybe. I need to keep in mind that I'm not just gonna magically know how to program fucking anything, and especially not now when I'm working one of those fun part time but basically full time but without the benefits jobs. I want to do some solo stuff to know the process with Godot better than I do now, but I also need to refocus what I'm actually doing. I can't just do Music And Art And Design And Also Code all alone for everything, I'll make like two games total and then kill myself if I do that.

Need to start writing design shit down again.

I've removed some Liver Party!! links from the bottom of the page since I'm no longer in the server for it. It kinda drove me insane and I can't imagine I'd really benefit much from an audience that wouldn't like what I make anyways. Still talk to Solska though, we're fine and might do some stuff down the road.

I'm working nights again now, which should make it easier to do things again. A little bit. Working overnight means nothing in the store I work at changes during my shift and I can better Not be overwhelmed. Will be way less exhausted. Can't do MM gamenight anymore, but with JForce's cool shit as of late that's probably a good thing.

Besides everything being on fire and trying to figure out what to even do next, I've been trying to take it a bit easier between shifts and I'm finding a lot more things to appreciate with games than I was before. I think running through fuckin Slayers X again got me thinking about a lot of stuff beyond just Mechanics like I usually do. When I get writing Depainted stuff again I need to restructure it's story beats a bit because what I had before was really hacky and would set it up to be misread really badly. It's not really anything that faced the public in the first place. Point is I got stuff to figure out!!

Also been running through Dusk again, first time since maybe the middle of high school, on a controller on a CRT my girlfriend gave me when her family was gonna throw it away. Love that thing. Have a Steam deck hooked up to it and it's just been how I play games besides stuff that commands keyboard and mouse. So happy I have it, I've wanted this kind of setup for so long.

But Dusk yeah I blazed past it when I first played it. And I still liked it a lot! But going back to it now, having it be a bit harder to keep up with on a controller and thinking more about how it escalates. I remember someone saying Quake is really good at making it feel like you're messing with shit you really shouldn't be, and Dusk is like Reaaaally doing that. It's really good. Really glad I've gone back to it.


I have lots to do. I've been in a pit and I'm just starting to get out of it. Hopefully I'll have something of actual substance to show again soon. Thanks.